Chapter 27
What Am I Bid for This Prime, uh, Skeleton?
01a - Introduction
01b - The Mysterious Ski Rack
01c - Wheres the Other Half of That Moose
01d - Scorpions Scorpio
01e - The Waiter Who Didnt Yall
02a - Can I Get a Diet Soda
02b - Riding Into the Sunrise
03 - Modesty at Any Price
04 - Driving Down to Houston
05a - What Does That Sign Say
05b - The State Tree
05c - They Call It the Sunbelt
05d - Just Follow Your Nose
06 - The New House
07a - Billboards
07b - Billboards Again
08 - Stereo Upgrade
09 - Local Wineries
10 - Unintentionally Left Blank
11 - CBW in TX
12 - Ice House Radio
13 - Goats and Cotton
14 - Dig We Must
15 - Dan Moody
16 - Dry Heat
17 - Dead Animals We Have Known
18a - Bookstore Culture
18b - On the Open Road
19 - Weather
20 - Sightings in Bertram and Buchanan
21 - Too Many Birds
22 - Road Hazards
23 - Sightings To And From Houston
24 - The Great Wall of Train
25 - In the Heat of the Day
26 - Bite Me
27 - Bid on This Skeleton
28 - Willie Al Fresco
29 - Rural Countryside
30 - SUV SUX!
31 - Kinky on the Texas Monthly Hour
32 - Strange Yellow Sky
33 - Football is a Serious Enterprise in Texas
34 - Remember the Alamoo!
35 - What Was That on the Radio
36 - Trip to Houston Through Small Towns
37 - Shoe Story
38 - Unintended Fireworks
39 - Flash Flood Warning
40 - Sin City
41 - Live Music in Austin But Not in Clubs
42 - Fear of Overpass
43 - The Big Sneezy
44 - New Texas
45 - Front Ended by the French Fry Mobile
46 - Dirt Farm
47 - Heard at the Texas Book Festival 2008
48 - Heard at the Texas Book Festival 2009
49 - Central Time Sucks
50 - Temple Texas
51 - Christmas in Austin
52 - Pennants in the Wind
53 - The Road Less Traveled
54 - Texas-size Thunderstorm
55 - Cool Van
56 - Your New House is That-A-Way
57 - CSI Austin
58 - New MTV Game Show
59 - Equine Technology
60 - Look at That Prairie
61 - Get Your Water Here
62 - Corporate Anniversaries
63 - College Sprawl
64 - Hire These Guys
65 - Preparing for Winter
66 - Careful What You Overhear
67 - Bonnie Raitt
68 - Perfume
69 - Questionable Skills
70 - All-American Day
71 - Read Me
72 - Weird Fog
73 - Overpackaged Food
74 - What Town Was That
75 - Texas Book Festival 2010
76 - Bulletproof Roof
77 - The Oldest Photo
78 - Cheesesteaks Part 1
79 - Cheesesteaks Part 2
80 - Sure We Got Culture
81 - A Message to Gyno-Americans
82 - The cathedral of Junk

The bones of the dot-bomb

A new tradition has arisen in Austin (and other places): the high-tech auction. There are companies that make a living auctioning off the bones of dead dot-coms. They come in every few months and sell off all the computers, network equipment, phone equipment, and in some cases even furniture, of failed high-tech companies. The banks and other creditors recover some small part of their investments, and the local populace and surviving businesses get some bargains.

I've been to several of these in the past six months, and sometimes the bargains are quite dandy. Personally, I got a computer, a real server-type, industrial-strength computer system with redundant everything and RAID disk controller, for less than a third of its original cost. The system had formerly been owned by a small ISP (Internet Service Provider), but I don't think it had ever seen production use. (Didn't have the right software on it.)

The method used is well, maybe pretty standard for this type of auction, I don't know. All of the items are listed in a catalog. If there are a number of identical items, they are listed together and treated as a group. Bidding commences. The high bidder on the item can take as many as he/she wants at that price, from one up to the whole group. If there are any of the group left after the first sale, then there is another round of bidding, but for a larger quantity. The high bidder has to take like five or ten at a time at the re-bid price. Eventually, all the items are gone, and a few million dollars have changed hands.

The booty at one of these auctions typically includes serious quantities of geek toys: about a hundred server computers, two to three hundred desktops, one to two hundred laptops, various networking equipment, printers, copiers, sometimes office furniture, like that. Some of the equipment is a couple years old, some newer, depending on when the particular dot-com bought the equipment and when it died. The more recent stuff is probably six-months-ago-cutting-edge, and some of it is older, but cheaper.

An truly Texas incident happened at one of these recently. The auction was selling off the assets of Agilion and a number of other dot-coms. It was held in the ex-Agilion building. It was so successful that the news covered it and some civil servant noticed. Seems that Agilion had neglected to pay the real estate taxes on the building last year, and owed the city/county/state/somebody $65,000. Somebody, somewhere in a public office building sees this news report about the assets of Agilion being sold off. Not so fast, there, mister. The city/county/state/somebody wants its cut. So the sheriff shows up to keep any more assets from being removed until the tax bill is paid. What to do? The company that owes the taxes is bankrupt, gonzo. The auction company is there acting on behalf of the creditors, mainly banks. The creditors don't want to give up any money. Well, after a few hours of standoff, the auction company finally footed the bill. I never heard if the taxes actually came out of their 10% or if they got reimbursed by the creditors. Regardless, it was a pretty fun media event. And you can bet that there is a new clause in all the auctioneer's contracts.

Just to give you an idea what a successful business this is, the same company recently held an auction in Pittsburgh. At Three Rivers Stadium, no less. They audience was 12,000 people, with 5,600 registered bidders, of whom 1,900 bought something. Yikes. When they first came to Austin, they could fit into a hotel ballroom. After a few successful times, they moved to much larger rooms. The last one I went to had over a thousand people, including a couple hundred who stood for hours after the chairs ran out. But twelve thousand is ridiculous.

The particular company that does the Austin auctions is from Silicon Valley, and they do many more of them there, of course. The auctioneers joke, grimly, "If you don't see what you want today, we'll be back in a month to auction off six more companies. I just don't know what their names are yet."

Copyright (C) 2000, 2001, 2002, Richard Ball Landau. All rights reserved.