Chapter 31
Kinky on the "Texas Monthly" Hour
01a - Introduction
01b - The Mysterious Ski Rack
01c - Wheres the Other Half of That Moose
01d - Scorpions Scorpio
01e - The Waiter Who Didnt Yall
02a - Can I Get a Diet Soda
02b - Riding Into the Sunrise
03 - Modesty at Any Price
04 - Driving Down to Houston
05a - What Does That Sign Say
05b - The State Tree
05c - They Call It the Sunbelt
05d - Just Follow Your Nose
06 - The New House
07a - Billboards
07b - Billboards Again
08 - Stereo Upgrade
09 - Local Wineries
10 - Unintentionally Left Blank
11 - CBW in TX
12 - Ice House Radio
13 - Goats and Cotton
14 - Dig We Must
15 - Dan Moody
16 - Dry Heat
17 - Dead Animals We Have Known
18a - Bookstore Culture
18b - On the Open Road
19 - Weather
20 - Sightings in Bertram and Buchanan
21 - Too Many Birds
22 - Road Hazards
23 - Sightings To And From Houston
24 - The Great Wall of Train
25 - In the Heat of the Day
26 - Bite Me
27 - Bid on This Skeleton
28 - Willie Al Fresco
29 - Rural Countryside
30 - SUV SUX!
31 - Kinky on the Texas Monthly Hour
32 - Strange Yellow Sky
33 - Football is a Serious Enterprise in Texas
34 - Remember the Alamoo!
35 - What Was That on the Radio
36 - Trip to Houston Through Small Towns
37 - Shoe Story
38 - Unintended Fireworks
39 - Flash Flood Warning
40 - Sin City
41 - Live Music in Austin But Not in Clubs
42 - Fear of Overpass
43 - The Big Sneezy
44 - New Texas
45 - Front Ended by the French Fry Mobile
46 - Dirt Farm
47 - Heard at the Texas Book Festival 2008
48 - Heard at the Texas Book Festival 2009
49 - Central Time Sucks
50 - Temple Texas
51 - Christmas in Austin
52 - Pennants in the Wind
53 - The Road Less Traveled
54 - Texas-size Thunderstorm
55 - Cool Van
56 - Your New House is That-A-Way
57 - CSI Austin
58 - New MTV Game Show
59 - Equine Technology
60 - Look at That Prairie
61 - Get Your Water Here
62 - Corporate Anniversaries
63 - College Sprawl
64 - Hire These Guys
65 - Preparing for Winter
66 - Careful What You Overhear
67 - Bonnie Raitt
68 - Perfume
69 - Questionable Skills
70 - All-American Day
71 - Read Me
72 - Weird Fog
73 - Overpackaged Food
74 - What Town Was That
75 - Texas Book Festival 2010
76 - Bulletproof Roof
77 - The Oldest Photo
78 - Cheesesteaks Part 1
79 - Cheesesteaks Part 2
80 - Sure We Got Culture
81 - A Message to Gyno-Americans
82 - The cathedral of Junk

Returned to the private sector

Kinky Friedman, a Texas icon, legend, and crazy person, was interviewed by the editor of the "Texas Monthly" magazine on their weekly TV show today. I saw only half the interview, but the Kinkster was in fine form. A few highlights.

Digression: For those not very familiar with Kinky, he is actually Richard Friedman, writer (18 books), folk singer (9 albums), New Yorker (for many years), amateur detective, humorist, animal rescue rancher, salsa vendor, and wild man from Borneo. He is currently running for governor of Texas. Yee ha! Check out for a full dose of weirdness. End of digression.

He ran for Justice of the Peace in his home town of Kerrville but didn't win. "My fellow Kerr-verts returned me to the private sector." His campaign slogan was, "If you elect me the first Jewish Justice of the Peace, I'll lower the speed limits to fifty-four ninety-five!"

He's a friend of Dubya. [He used to be a FOB (Friend Of Bill).] He has shared Cuban cigars with both of them. [Yes, there's this pesky embargo thing against Cuba. So it's illegal to import Cuban products. So you'd think that Cuban cigars might not be welcome in the halls of government.] Kinky tells them to think about it differently: "We're not helping their economy. We're burning their fields."

The postmaster in the Medina, Texas, post office called him excited one day. "You have a package from the White Horse Saloon! You know, that place in Nashville where they do the line dancing." Of course, the package was from the White *House*, not the White Horse, but no one was expecting that. And it was less exciting, anyway.

His books sell well overseas. "I just got a royalty check for the translation of 'Spanking Watson' into Croatian." His books do very well overseas, don't know exactly why, but some people do better for export than at home. Martin Luther King and Gandhi, for instance. The books do very well in Germany. "The Germans are my second favorite people." Who are the first? "Everybody else."

He is apparently the second biggest author now with his publisher. The first is Mary Higgins Clark, who gets like eighty million dollars per book. "But no sentient being that I ever met has read anything by Mary Higgins Clark."

The interviewer, Evan Smith, is the editor of "Texas Monthly" magazine. He thinks that the Kinkster thinks young for his age. Kinky credits his years with the Peruvian marching powder for stimulating his brain. "I'm fifty-eight, but I read at the 60-year-old level."

Lastly, he talked about Willie, who is an old friend of his. He talked to Willie recently, around the beginning of the recent Iraq war. Kinky was pro-war and Willie was not. "Willie, this guy is a tyrannical bully. We have to take him out." Willie responded, "No, Kinky, he's our president and we should support him." Ta-dum. Old joke, but good.